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Hide and Seek

A "Failed" Mother's Reflection on Love and Growth

  • Elira Bregu
  • May 11
  • 3 min read

Mother's Day often comes with a heavy dose of expectations, prompting us to reflect on our roles as mothers. We exchange gifts, share sweet sentiments, and underscore the special bonds we have with our children. But what if you feel like you’re falling short or even consider yourself a “failed” mom? This reflection invites you to embrace the imperfections of motherhood and see that love and growth frequently emerge from the challenges we face.


As mothers, we feel immense pressure from society. We think a “good mom” should balance everything perfectly: career responsibilities, a tidy home, and nurturing experiences filled with joy. In reality, motherhood is often a chaotic blend of laughter and tears. One recent survey found that nearly 75% of mothers feel overwhelmed by the expectations placed upon them.


Close-up view of a well-loved children's book with worn pages
The cherished stories that help mothers connect with their children.

This Mother’s Day, I’m taking a step back. Instead of focusing on what I perceive as failures, I’m choosing to appreciate my unique journey—messy, beautiful, and entirely my own.


Perfection is completely unattainable and ignores the complexities of everyday life. Children are not simply extensions of us; they are distinct individuals with their own dreams and goals. Expecting a flawless upbringing is unrealistic and can lead to disappointment.


In pursuing an ideal standard, we might overlook the richness of our day-to-day experiences. For example, a simple afternoon filled with baking cookies can turn into a beautiful mess that teaches creativity and resilience. Reflecting on our parenting missteps can pave the way for genuine connections with our children, demonstrating that it’s okay to be imperfect, just like everyone else.


So, what does it mean to be a “failed” mom? It could refer to that moment when frustration bubbles over, when you miss a school event because of work, or when you struggle to understand your child’s changing emotions. But these moments are not failures; they are opportunities for growth and love.


Love isn't just about perfect Instagram-worthy moments. It is also about the lessons we learn during trying times. Navigating difficult conversations or addressing our flaws teaches our children that mistakes are part of life. When we embrace our imperfections, we grant them permission to do the same.


High angle view of a sun-drenched, inviting corner of a cozy reading nook
Creating a personal space to unwind reflects a mother's journey of self-care.

Motherhood requires us to embrace vulnerability. It takes courage to admit mistakes or acknowledge choices that didn’t resonate with your child. These uncomfortable moments nurture growth. By sharing our vulnerabilities, we foster an authentic environment that encourages our children to be themselves.


Through these genuine interactions, we lay the groundwork for a strong parent-child bond. Children who witness both our triumphs and flaws learn that life is a blend of both, equipping them with essential life skills.


While reflecting on motherhood's meaningful lessons, we must also recognize the value of self-care. Giving from an empty cup is not sustainable. Self-care is necessary for effective parenting. A study revealed that mothers who engage in regular self-care practices report a 30% increase in their own emotional well-being.


Encourage yourself to carve out time for activities that uplift you. It could be enjoying a quiet cup of tea, diving into a favorite hobby, or connecting with friends. By prioritizing our well-being, we create a positive ripple effect within our families.

Eye-level view of a sunlit outdoor path lined with blossoming flowers
The journey of motherhood is a blooming path of love and growth.

Celebrating Small Wins


This Mother’s Day let’s shift our focus from perceived failures to small wins. Celebrate daily victories that may seem insignificant, like the heartfelt hug you received after a tough day, the family dinner you managed to prepare, or enduring one more school drop-off without losing your cool. According to recent research, acknowledging small accomplishments can increase your happiness and satisfaction by up to 40%.


These everyday moments encapsulate the essence of parenting, reminding us that love doesn’t need to be extravagant to be meaningful.


As we approach this Mother’s Day, let’s collectively reshape how we view motherhood. Embrace the messiness, acknowledge the setbacks, and focus on the growth achieved through these experiences.


Instead of fixating on how we think we have fallen short, let’s celebrate the remarkable moments that mold us into the moms we are. By recognizing that each experience offers a lesson, we build stronger connections with our children.


This Mother’s Day, take a moment to appreciate that there is no single definition of a “good mom.” We are all beautifully imperfect, navigating motherhood together. Let us honor this journey with open hearts.



 
 
 

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