She’s strong, independent, and curiously confident. She’s on top of her game, everything you could have ever dreamed of wanting, but still you wonder and doubt: “What could I give to a woman who seems like she has everything?”
To love a woman who looks like she doesn’t need anyone is to understand that no matter how much she’s most definitely got covered, it will never mean that she doesn’t need you. Even if she struggles to ask for it—it’s not that she doesn’t need it, but that she’s never had someone she could ask.
This kind of woman likely doesn’t even think of herself in this way because she is so focused on her career, herself, and living an amazing life that she doesn’t have time for what people think of her, especially those who don’t see who she truly is.
She doesn’t need you to see around any titles or her strength, but just to see her.
While she may be the boss of her own life, the thing that has escaped many is that she is still a woman. She cries and she feels, and she knows that there’s not actually anything wrong with her because she’s single, but because of the way women like her are seen. She’s not infallible, but she just simply knows what she wants—more than that though, she knows what she’s worth.
To love a woman who looks like she doesn’t need anyone is to be secure within your own masculinity because she is used to intimidating the ones who came before. Those men who thought they were up to the task of loving her but who fell short when they started comparing themselves to her or who became jealous by her success—by her confidence. They saw her as a threat to their own sense of self, but the difference is this woman will not make herself smaller if your heart starts to quiver.
She will not be the weeping willow and instead will simply level up and leave. She’s used to making hard choices and big decisions; she’s used to having to choose herself, because no one else has. She’s grown accustomed to people changing and being too much for her and the fire that she creates with her passionate ways. She’s used to others just seeing her as what she does rather than who she is, and so she needs a man to be strong enough for her. A man who doesn’t need permission or a rule book in order to love her.
A woman who looks like she doesn’t need anyone needs a man who will not apologize for his opinion or thoughts, one who is as confident in himself as he is in his love for her. A man who knows that this woman who stands before him is so much more than meets the eye, and while she may be able to tame the world with a single look, she still is craving a love that she can lean on—one that will show her why it was never meant to work out with anyone else.
It’s taken a special kind of man to love a special kind of woman. It’s the kind of love that doesn’t need to be babysat or pacified. Because while this kind of woman is many things, a bullsh*tter she is not. She respects herself too much to expect anything less than what she brings to the table. She is not perfect though, nor does she expect her man to be, but she does expect accountability and honesty. We make mistakes, we all have a past, but we’re expected to own it and to do better because of it.
A woman like this only gets better with time, and so she needs a man who wants to do the same. She learns, changes, grows, and is forever looking at ways she can improve herself and life so that it’s more beautiful, more fulfilling, so she needs someone who has no desire to live within the status quo. Someone who doesn’t need to check boxes in order to feel satisfied by life. A man who puts a higher price on individual growth than on the security of a traditional relationship. Someone who will kiss her lips and wish her well as she boards the plane for a trip by herself; the kind of man who trusts enough to let the love be the loudest words spoken between them—never fear.
The kind of love that doesn’t need its hand held to know that it’s there but never hesitates to reach out. One that doesn’t play games about whose turn it is to make plans and understands that busy isn’t an excuse. The life of this kind of woman will be busy, but there will always be room for you—there will always be space for the kind of man who adds value to hers. Someone who doesn’t become a distraction or who feels like is only there when it’s convenient for him.
Because the thing about this woman isn’t that she just goes hard for life or success—but love too.
This kind of woman longs for someone to just know that her heart still feels regardless of how strong or in charge she might be. To first be seen as the woman in your life, the softness to your hard, and not just the woman who’s ready to take on the world—even though she is. She’s stilettos and bare feet, merlot lip gloss, and chin up because that’s what we do. A woman who looks like she doesn’t need anyone is shoulders back and eyes bright, focused on the world, focused on what’s ahead of her, and so she never has any time to look behind.
To love this kind of woman is to know that the key to her heart doesn’t lay within things or even elaborate dates. It’s not in what you need to do for her or even what you can give her—because the only thing this woman needs from a man who loves her is him.
Because when you have everything else—the only thing left is love.
AUTHOR: KATE ROSE
EDITOR: NAOMI BOSHARI